RUMOR CONTROL: Is Shower Masturbation Actually A Problem At The University of Miami?

Shower Masturbation Has Become a Problem at the University of Miami

Complex, a website which is usually a reputable source for trending news and headlines, posted a weird story about a strange occurrence happening in the University of Miami.

Shower masturbation in the University of Miami’s male dorms has become such a problem that the school has been forced to put students on notice.

Jerking off in the showers violates the University of Miami Housing Code, as copious amounts of semen (and presumably hair) clog the drains, resulting hundreds of dollars worth of maintenance that will be reflected in a spike in housing costs next year. It’s literally in your hands, students.

For the record, masturbation is not discouraged, just masturbating in the showers. Keep it to yourself; don’t make it a public problem.

The problem with this story? It’s not true. To be quite honest, we have not checked with the University of Miami to make sure this isn’t true BUT this sort of prank has existed on the internet for years so we didn’t believe it was necessary to seek any comment or reaction from the school. It’s very simple to do if you know photoshop and can find the letterhead of whatever school you’re aiming to prank on Google. Here are many different examples of this from BroBible.

Georgetown University

Durham University

Syracuse University

Michigan State University

Click on the BroBible link above for more examples if you need them. There is no way of determining the original source of the picture although Complex cites Instagram as it’s source, which is never a good look unless it’s from a primary source.

Conclusion: Not everything you see on the internet is true.

Let’s broaden this post even more. Can semen clog your shower drain? Here are two answers which should help answer that question.


OK, so here’s the weird thing about semen… It is made of various components, and as the lighter less viscous components are “washed out” what is left is a bizarrely rubbery polymer-like substance. A typical session would only yield a small chunk the size of a pencil eraser. Alone it would not be a problem, but when mixed with with a wad of hair I can imagine it forming an effective drain plug.

You’re welcome, go on about your day now, I hope you enjoy your newfound knowledge.

(For reals, you can try this experiment yourself if you have access to semen and a shower. Just rub it around in your hand a bit while water runs over it)

Yahoo Answers:

Most biological fluids from mammals are water soluble. In a shower, it would not have an opportunity to dry into something that was resistant.

Hair, on the other hand, will clog a shower drain. One of the reasons is that it forms a mat on to which other things can stick. The end result can be something that become resistant to the flow of water. Semen would contribute to that build up of residue on the hair, but would not cause a problem simply by itself.


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