by BREANA BACON
I am in a particularly foul mood as I write to you today. Last night, I was handed the awful experience of having a Scandal-induced state of stuck. I try my best to immerse myself completely in the Shondaland trifecta on Thursday nights, but unfortunately, I was unable to focus for the first half of HTGAWM because I was still traumatized from the end of Scandal. Again, I took to Twitter, and begged, LITERALLY begged Shonda to take pity on her beloved Murder fans and not slay us all with the last five minutes of Scandal. I think Shonda may have blocked me.
Anyway, let’s snap out of it and talk about this, shall we?
First, I’d like to begin with our surprisingly bold Jake From– I mean, CAPTAIN BALLARD. He says only his “friends” call him Jake and I know I’m not his friend as of yet and clearly, neither is Fitz. Since his walk in the sun, Captain Ballard has returned with a new sense of confidence…or cockiness, and it’s directed toward any and everyone who crosses him. Especially Fitz. As much as Fitz tried to keep his composure while Captain Ballard was telling him what was what, it was obvious to me that he knew he lost control. Both over Olivia and over Ballard’s mouth. Then, for Ballard to hit him with the stinger of he and Liv’s “sun” inside joke. This man is owning Fitz every episode and while I secretly love it, I have a feeling Fitz is going to soon realize that he is the ruler of the Free World and this “Captain Ballard” problem can be solved. I’ll be waiting for the day with popcorn in hand. In the meantime, I’m with Liv in making these two play nice to take down the Master of Shade aka Rowan aka Daddy Pope.
My next issue is Huck and his never-ending Bring Your Child to Work days. Now Huck, I understand that you weren’t able to be in little Javi’s life until now and you want to make the most of your time with him. But really, you need to get a grip, you used to pull teeth and drill holes in people for a living. Do you honestly think your line of work is fit for a child to come along? Unless of course, he’s gonna play like Zoe Saldana in Columbiana and you’re going to train him to be an assassin. If that’s the case, then by all means, train your child in the way he should go. Just don’t get caught by his mom. Stick a pin in this Huck situation, we’ll come back to it.
Now, the older but unwise Cyrus Bean. I’m not really a fan of Cyrus this season because he’s been attempting to blackmail and use Olivia since she stepped foot into D.C. He gets an eye roll from me every time he appears on the screen and quite frankly, until this episode, I was over him. But as much as I wanted there to be drama between his new prostitute/grad student/informant man-candy, I was relieved when Olivia found out that he wasn’t going giving Cyrus’ information to “Lizzy Bear,” Cyrus’ sworn enemy. But Liz has some explaining to do folks. Stick a pin in it.
I won’t even bother discussing the lack of self control Olivia has around Fitz and the satisfaction that Fitz gets from knowing that because if I do, I might get stressed all over again and that’s not beneficial for anyone at this point. So, MOVING RIGHT ALONG.
Back to Javi and Huck, who has now brought the poor child to a stake out at Elizabeth’s secret apartment. Where is this child’s mother? Kim was so adamant about keeping Huck away from their son but she’s letting him roam the streets of D.C. unsupervised. Parenting at its finest, folks. Anyway, as previously stated, Huck knows these situations can get ugly as they most certainly do when Quinn’s subject of surveillance and Huck’s subject are together at this secret love nest of Lizzy’s and Quinn’s subject tries to kill them both. Luckily, Huck does what every parent does in an awkward situation, he sent his kid for ice cream. But sooner or later, Javi was going to come back, and that he did. Right as his father murdered a man. So much for a father-son bond, huh?
Meanwhile, in Lizzy’s apartment, we realize that every man Mellie Grant wants, wants someone else. Poor Mellie. Fitz has Olivia, now the VP and Melli’s not so secret lover, Andrew Nichols, has Lizzy. She must look like a Milk-Bone biscuit because all she’s attracting are dogs. Poor, poor Mellie. Somebody pour that woman a glass of Scotch.
But the question we all want to know is who is responsible for the bomb in Nichol’s car? I suppose we’re gonna have to stick a pin in that one until next week.
Next on the agenda, the fact that Olivia Pope, being the intellectual product of her devious parents, hatches a plan to trap her father and finally make him come face to face with justice for all the lives he’s ended and ruined. In the back of my head, I couldn’t help but think that Daddy Pope knew what she was up to. As per usual, I WAS RIGHT. I almost spat out my spaghetti when he moved closer to Liv at dinner and told her “all the men outside you sent are dead.” I dropped a meatball when David Rosen looked in the B-613 files and THEY ALL WERE BLANK. I almost passed out when Daddy Pope got in that SUV and drove away like nothing had even happened.
I thought about asking Shonda why in the world she continues to give us anxiety attacks in the last five minutes, but then I saw the preview for next week’s winter finale and I realized that Shonda not only wants the anxiety to last throughout the last few minutes, but for an entire seven days until the next episode. Try to relax, my friends, because clearly, it’s going to be close to impossible for me to. See you next week for the finale.