Scandal review: No More Blood

by BREANA BACON

Good– no, GREAT afternoon, my Gladiator friends!

Today is a great day because all is well with the world of Scandal. Well, almost all, but that’s not relevant right now. What’s important is that the asset has been recovered, our fearless leader has been returned to us and Shonda has saved us all from the separation anxiety from Liv that we have been suffering from for weeks.

Although Shonda blessed us with an episode that didn’t having us clutching our pearls in fear of what would happen next, she of course, didn’t fail to throw in several plot twists. Because of said twists, Shonda received several tweets from my followers and myself, none of which she responded to, but it’s okay. I’m not bitter, I am not upset….

Yes, I am.

ANYWAYS, down to business.

When we last saw our heroine last week, it seemed as though she would have to apply for dual citizenship in Iran but somehow, some way, I ran knew better and knew that the hands of the United States were universal and if Fitz was willing to go to war with West Angola for this woman, what did they think was going to happen to them? They guessed it, and they were right. Unfortunately, that meant that the TGIT Date Auction was back in full effect.

Meanwhile, at the White House, Fitz is still trying to prove that he’s in control. The CIA is now in on Operation Helen of Troy and while Liv’s extraction is the only thing Fitz is concerned about, the CIA couldn’t care less about his bae troubles. They’re ready to get Liv and her kidnappers gone and not think twice about it. Fitz wasn’t having it, Abby wasn’t having it, and neither was I.  Neutralize the asset? The CIA director clearly has forgotten that Olivia Pope will shut the CIA down and turn them into a private investigation firm. Good try, though.

Courtesy: imgur.com
Courtesy: imgur.com

Another highlight of the night was Shonda delivering the biggest “thought it was”: Cyrus popping ALL the way off on the President for refusing to consider the fact that they may have to lose Olivia to save the country. I couldn’t even make a smart comment about Cyrus’ disloyalty because I was too busy picking my jaw up from the floor. Not only did he curse the president of the United States out via daydream, but he quit too! Now we all knew Cyrus was emotional but his anger in that scene escalated to a Richard Sherman level. It may not have been real, but I just wasn’t ready for all that and I know y’all weren’t either. Shonda really played with us and I simply don’t have the time for it.

Last episode, we also saw Huck get turned up on Gustavo’s friends , cutting off heads and limbs and all that good stuff. Well, Jake and Quinn were not exactly feeling Huck’s relapse. I will never be okay with Huck and Quinn’s incest but I have to say I fell into my feelings when Quinn begged Huck to stop killing. Despite that, when Lizzy Bear came in asking him to take care of Andrew, who is honestly getting completely out of hand, he let her know that promised Quinn no more blood and that’s exactly what he meant. I thought for a moment he was going to slip up when Lizzy grabbed his arm just like Mellie did Liv last season. As I’ve said before, the White House really has lost it but they need to get it back, quick and in a hurry. You don’t grab Pope & Associates unless you’re trying to get cut, that’s law.

Courtesy: quickmeme.com
Courtesy: quickmeme.com

Since the Bid for Liv is back in motion, Jake From State Farm and company use Huck’s B-613 money and Mama Pope’s alias to try and buy Olivia back but end up in a tie with the Russian mob. Instead of deciding who to give Liv to, Psycho Gus tells her to choose. Of course, there can never just be an easy way to get Liv out of trouble because she does the obvious and says that “Marie Wallace” (aka the Squad) should be graced with her presidential power. I don’t know about you all, but I couldn’t remove my palm from my forehead because Liv knew better. SHE KNEW. She had one job. Gus may be a nutcase, but he isn’t stupid. Russia wins.

Back at Pope & Associates, plans to get Liv back are becoming skimpier than a Hooters uniform and as per Mama Pope, the gang seemingly has one option left: enter Papa Pope. Yes, people The Master of Shade has returned (sort of) and does not hold back on Jake, letting him know that he is nothing short of a failure, letting Liv get kidnapped after only a week of him leaving. I had high hopes for Rowan this episode, I even hid my outrage when he read Jake to absolute filth during one of his infamous monologues. But what I was not here for was him saying he doesn’t have a daughter and refusing to help. SIR. You killed her best friend, her boyfriend’s son, locked her mother away (rightfully so, but that’s not the point) and YOU DON’T HAVE A DAUGHTER?! So you know what? I’m through with Eli Pope. Done. He was already on my nerves but he’s ruptured my last one. It’s time for him to go, I don’t have the time nor the patience.

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Huck has also exchanged blood for syringes and dicovers that while Quinn said no blood, she didn’t ban poison! Andrew finally gets got and at the hands of Huck, turns into a vegetable because killing him just wasn’t gonna cut it. Right on, Huck, right on.

I know all of you know by now that I was not down for Abby’s change of demeanor when she started working as press secretary. My attitude has changed. Abby wins all the brownie points this week for refurbishing the loyalty that Cyrus has discarded. While he was off sneaking around trying to drop the bomb on Liv (literally), Abby was out earning back her title as a Gladiator. In the biggest plot twist of Scandal history, Shonda showed us that once a Gladiator, always a Gladiator, when the “Russian” that bought Liv, was none other than Stephen Finch! If you don’t know who Stephen Finch is, stop reading this review and watch Scandal on Netflix from season one so you can become a REAL Gladiator. Anyways. Shonda swooped in for the win bringing back that familiar face to save Liv and I tweeted her to express my and my fellow Gladiators’ undying gratitude. The lessons in loyalty were greatly appreciated, Mama Shonda. For that plot twist, we salute you.

Courtesy: uproxx.com
Courtesy: uproxx.com

For my final rant of the day, I would like to address the Olitz drama that went down in the final five minutes of last night’s episode. Fitz, upon hearing that Olivia was safe, made a beeline to her apartment to see her, but Liv wasn’t having it. While she reprimanded him for jeopardizing the presidency, the very thing she had put her life and career on the line to protect, his excuse was “I tried to leave my wife for you.” Boy, goodbye, good night, and good luck. Nobody has time for that. You are the leader of the free world and you couldn’t do either of the two jobs you had. Keep control of the country and find a way to get Liv back. You let Andrew Nichols run the Oval Office and kidnap your mistress while a SEASON ONE Gladiator had to be called in to do your job for you? GOODBYE, Mr. President. You tried, and you failed, now away with you, peasant.

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So thus ends my weekly rant. I’ll see you all in two weeks (I know, I’m sad about it too). Stay strong, Gladiators.

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