11 Thoughts We All Had About The New Cast of Dancing With The Stars

by MARYAM OUTLAW

ABC announced who the new contestants will be for the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars on Tuesday. While we couldn’t be more ready to watch another cycle of uncoordinated celebs try their hands at the rumba, here are a few reservations we had about the contenders.

Patti LaBelle: Kudos to whoever booked this R&B goddess because this woman could be doing so many other cool things with her life. While no one will ever understand why anyone would want to go from an American Horror Story to a Vietnamese Waltz, she’s still a shoe-in for fan favorite.

patti

Rumer Willis: One, cool name. Two, who is she? So, her father Bruce Willis is a vortex of awesomeness and her mother Demi Moore was married to Ashton Kutcher once upon a time. But no one knows where THIS chick came from, so she better have a mean body roll.

rumer

Suzanne Somers: Didn’t she used to sell something called a Thighmaster? The 68-year-old seems to be a sweet lady, but she’s an advocate for actual exercise, so clearly she won’t be appealing to the younger crowd any time soon.

suzanne

Michael Sam: Finally, someone topical. A football defensive end, Sam made major headlines after recently opening up about his homosexuality and we couldn’t be more excited to see him strut his stuff on the dance floor. Two Step. Sashay. Jazz hands. Hike!

michaelsam

Riker Lynch: They always need some pubescent heartthrob, don’t they? Well, he’s no Bieber, but the Ally and AJ star will probably win major points with both our thirsty “tween” cousins and wholesome great grandparents.

riker

Charlotte McKinney: Unless this woman literally has no sense of rhythm whatsoever, this model is probably going to make the top five. Seriously, she’s like… so pretty. And every guy knows it.

model

Willow Shields: Willow, you just came off one of the biggest movie franchises to date playing Primrose in the movie smash The Hunger Games. Why are you doing this?! She’s not the most exciting choice, but maybe if we’re lucky, she’ll strike up a romance with that other child star and things will get interesting.

willow

Nastia Liukin: She’s Russian. She’s a gymnast. And she’s an Olympian. She is clearly going to win and it is so unfair. No one has any idea why they keep casting these crazy amazing athletes because they’re basically walking spoiler alerts.

gymnast

Robert Herjavec: Star of ABC’s Shark Tank, this major investor is reportedly worth around $125 million dollars. Again, why are you doing this?!

sharktank

Noah Galloway: A war veteran of the Iraq war, Galloway has become a successful fitness trainer after losing both an arm and leg serving in the U.S military. Grab the Kleenex because he’s sure to tug at our heartstrings and ignite our inner American with his patriotic story.

warvet

Redfoo: He skyrocketed to fame with his “Party Rock Anthem” as half of the former group LMFAO and overall, he’s a pretty stellar choice and we can expect some great showmanship. He’s energetic, he’s flamboyant and he said it himself: every day he’s shuffling.

 

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