by BREANA BACON
Hello my Gladiator friends,
Welcome to another edition of my De-stress Session! I’m sure you all, like me, have to replace your mugs this week because you’ve realized that the tea Shonda Rhimes spilled this episode was more than your minuscule cup and saucer could handle.
I was simply outdone by the amount of uncomfortable truths that the light was shed on this week, but I’ll be the first to say, we needed that truth to be brought forward. Some people in this world need it more than others but that’s just not any of my business.
Let’s get started, shall we?
First of all, we got the tea with no honey or sugar early when the fictional news was doing a 60 Minutes piece on Liv’s entire life and we hear that Daddy Pope wanted to do the “impossible” and raise a Black girl who felt fully entitled to the world as any white man. CAN I GET TWO SNAPS FOR DADDY POPE? He wasn’t playing with the “twice as good to get half” speech, he was serious about raising a child who knew she could take over the world, despite any obstacles placed in her way. As usual, I’m 110 percent here for the empowerment of all the Black girls and women in Shondaland as well as the real world.
But of course, Shonda had to add the realities of white privilege and the sad notion that Black people, namely women, who are confident in themselves are too ambitious, too aggressive, unladylike, so on and so forth. FOOLISHNESS. Shonda wasn’t having it and neither was I. Those reporters need to rotate.
Meanwhile, Jake apparently meets an old flame while he’s in Paris with Charlie and while we all were sure that she was just a B-613 fling, Jake reveals that he was MARRIED to this woman. MA-RRIED. Who, what, where, when and why in the world would Shonda and Jake from State Farm eeeeever snatch my edges before the first thirty minutes have passed? I just can’t wrap my head around the fact that Jake was not always down with the swirl. I can’t get down with the fact that she’s not Olivia. I was and am confused as to how this woman is allowed to pop back into Jake’s life and he melts. That ain’t Liv, Jake.
Also, I don’t necessarily think it’s fair that Jake has two women that he loves back in his life and that he’s loyal to when I still have yet to receive a text back. Ridiculous. What’s even more ridiculous is that you all keep allowing me to digress. Stop it.
Anyway, America, we have found our replacement Harrison in our fake Marc Lamont Hill from The Lawn Chair episode. Quinn tries to court him with the same tactics that Harrison used on her, but our civil rights activist-turned swirl lover-turned white hat wearer wasn’t here for it….at first. But nobody turns down a deal with Pope & Associates. Nobody.
Sir Malcolm Flex was speaking nothing but truths after he came to his senses and put on his armor to join the Gladiators, criticizing the media about using what he called dog-whistle language, words and phrases about Olivia, a Black woman, that none of their viewers would understand or pay attention too unless they were also Black women. He sends Quinn and Huck on every major news syndicate to read all the journalists that characterized Olivia’s strength and unwillingness to back down as being “sassy” and “power hungry” and “angry.” Stereotypes used to describe those who are determined to work hard for what they want and won’t let anything deter them by people who are intimidated by their drive and are weaker than them, to say the least. I don’t really understand why some folks are so intimidated by a Black woman being almost, if not more successful as not only her peers, but her superiors and those who do not have as many hindrances as she does, but I guess the insecure bug and the hater virus must be going around again, let me vaccinate myself now because I don’t have the time. But let me not make get off topic, I know I just made some people uncomfortable.
Back in the White House, Mellie is faced with a hard decision to impeach or not to impeach. And homegirl has run out of hooch so she can’t drink her way out of this one. She seems to have made a decision to be the “good wife” and protect her man (who isn’t really hers) until Cyrus comes in and pushes the envelope with a monologue about Fitz being his child, as if he doesn’t have a beautiful melanin-filled baby girl sitting in a play pen at home. Pull ot together, Cy, you have a child and her name is not Fitzgerald Grant. Find a grip, hold onto it tight and never let it go.
I know y’all almost lost your minds when that senator had the NERVE and AUDACITY to tell Fitz to kill the Brandon Bill and to find a mistress more “palatable.” I’M SORRY, WHAT? More palatable? Sir, are you angry that Olivia Pope in her fictional 30s or maybe even 40s looks younger than your 25-year-old daughter did when she was 16? Or maybe you’re upset because some gorgeous melanin-filled woman who was 50 looking 30 turned your pasty, wrinkled butt down? You’re not sure which one? Stick a pin in it, we’ll come back to that. Don’t try it, we don’t have time for your foolishness because you’re jealous that Olivia’s skin shines in the sun and your wife’s chafes. But I’m getting off topic again.
And we would be remiss not to discuss how Olivia proceeded to read all of the disgusting, cowardly misogynists who have so much to say and are so bold when they are protected by the anonymity of their computers. This isn’t exclusive to Shondaland though, so many people are disgusting with their comments online to women in the public eye, threatening rape and violence. But Olivia let them know, she may not say much but her gun is pretty loud. ‘Nuff said. Y’all crazy misogynists in Shondaland better chill out before Liv proceeds to lay you out.
As the episode closed tonight, Fitz was faced with a decision to save his skin or to do the right thing. Luckily, he told that racist senator to rotate and went to go be with Liv in public. But hell hat no fury like a Mellie scorned. She is SCREAMING for impeachment. The Good Wife has gone bad, y’all.
I’ll catch you next week. Keep gladiating.