by BREANA BACON
Y’all, listen. I may not have class on Fridays anymore, but I’m tired of waking up disheveled because of the stress Shonda has caused me on Thursday nights. Therefore, I am starting a petition and setting up headquarters for my #StopShondaStress2015 campaign. I need signatures and volunteers so now is not the time to let your stress overcome you, it is time to take action. It should be a crime to snatch so many edges without permission as Shonda has over the past several years.
Anyway, without further adieu, let us debrief.
As this episode opens, the White House is hosting yet another State Dinner (when am I gonna get invited to one of these? I like to eat, too…) to celebrate the nuclear arms treaty that is set to be signed by the U.S. and Middle Eastern country, Bandar. As everyone seems to be enjoying themselves, the translator to the country’s minister of energy pulls Liv to the side, requesting asylum in the U.S. in exchange for intel on a possible Bandarian attack on U.S. soil. Of course, fearing for national security, Liv agrees to help him out.
Meanwhile Messy Mellie is at is again, threatening to tell Fitz about what she and Liv did letting Rowan out of prison if Liv doesn’t help her become president. A request that introduces her to the dial tone.
Girl, goodbye, good night and good luck, nobody has time for you to be making idle threats because you didn’t get your way, we have bigger issues to deal with. Like Daddy Pope being hunted like Cecil the Lion by whoever these Lazarus people are AND by Jake from State Farm!
Daddy Pope greets us this episode with a monologue that even made me tear up. He tells Olivia that he’s afraid for his life and if there was ever anything he’d want her to know, its that he’s proud of her. I almost had a feeling at that. But who wants to imagine Scandal without Rowan? He’s the character we love to hate and we all know that an episode without a monologue is incomplete. If Shonda kills him off, I will riot.
Back to Navid, Liv gives him a pill to make him sick and he is sent to the hospital with Secret Service detail, for his own protection, in case the leaders of Bandar find out that he’s dry-snitching. In the hospital, Liv lays down some ground rules: no intel, no asylum. He willingly gives up a location in the U.S. where he thinks Bandar is hiding nuclear weapons and Liv tells him to sit tight while she sends the rest of OPA to check it out.
Now, in the last episode, we are made clear the fact that Fitz no longer runs the White House. He may think he wears the pants in he and Liv’s working and personal relationship, but homeboy is really out her in a skort, not shorts. Poor him. Liv is pulling the strings on that puppet and one person who isn’t oblivious to that fact is Cyrus Bean. Cy is out for blood and he’s willing to use any tactic necessary to get back at his boss and former protege. Cyrus has clearly lost his mind, folks. I think its time for him to retire, he’s looking terrible, too. Poor him.
Liv flexes her executive power to call Jake from State Farm into the Oval in an attempt to set him straight, but the way she was read to filth made me uncomfortable. That’s right y’all, Jake has decided to grow a pair and put Liv in her place. He is fed up with the foolishness and I’m declaring him the leader of the movement of side pieces who are tired of their women walking all over them. Jake and all side joints everywhere are fed up and taking back their dignity. I’m all here for it. You go, side joints, you go.
As OPA looks into the information Navid has given, the discover that the arsenal they assumed Bandar owned was nothing more than a soda factory…..or so they thought. A pissed off Liv storms into Navid’s hospital room, breathing fired and denies his request for asylum, clearly fed up with the foolishness of he and his country. But unfortunately, OPA forgot to let Huck look at the specs and he discovers that Navid was telling the truth all along: Bandar was using the facility not for a nuclear weapon but to house a server that was to be used in a massive cyber-attack against the U.S. Realizing that she messed up big time, Liv calls Abby and tells her to stop Fitz from signing the treaty and runs to the hospital to find a bloody and half-conscious Navid, who has decided that he’d rather die than go back to his country. When he recovers, Liv issues an apology and welcomes him to the U.S. I love it when the good guys are actually good.
But Cyrus is off being a bad guy, teaming up with an unsuspecting David Rosen to find out who let Rowan out of jail. His stunt gets Liv arrested and Fitz comes in and questions her, refusing to believe that she would let the man that killed his son and her best friend out of jail. Well, Fitz, believe it, honey. I have no clue what Liv said during that silent monologue because my skills in reading lips are little to none (I’m writing Shonda a letter about that, too), but it was enough for Fitz to officially move her into the White House and buy her some bomb suits and to request that her father be brought in alive. Where is my man to buy me nice suits and cashmere robes? I digress.
Anyway, Jake from State Farm sets off to find Daddy Pope but he’s disappeared. I almost fell out my bed stricken with grief because I thought he was either dead or about to die. I almost fell out again when I saw him tied to that chair. But my edges were officially snatched to never return when I saw Huck walk in.
WHO WHAT WHERE WHEN WHY AND HOW. Is Huck going to kill Rowan? Is he Lazarus? Does Jake know about this? Where is Maya Pope?
I’m going to tweet Shonda and ask, I’ll let y’all know what I get next week. Be easy.