Category Archives: Funny

Jane the Virgin Season 2 Premiere Recap: “Chapter Twenty-Three”

by MARYAM OUTLAW

After a four-month long summer hiatus, CW’s Jane the Virgin came back with an adorable season 2 premiere last night full of two-faced nuns, certified sociopaths and of course, the most adorable newborn ever created.

When we last saw Jane, she had finally given birth to her cute little bundle of joy, a baby boy that she named Mateo. And not ten minutes after he was born, he was kidnapped by Sin Rostro a.k.a Jane’s baby daddy’s sister’s ex-lover, a criminal mastermind who gives delinquents plastic surgery so they can escape the law and start life anew.

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Continue reading Jane the Virgin Season 2 Premiere Recap: “Chapter Twenty-Three”

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Scandal Review: Paris is Burning

by BREANA BACON

Before I begin, I must admit that I was so close to having an incomplete review tonight but my very good and loyal friend, Sierra who is in Tampa, saved my life and assisted in the snatching of my edges tonight. Thank you, Lord, for good friends who would rather you be snatched by Shonda than live life wondering what it would be like if you had been.

Ladies and gentlemen, if there was ever a time we as Gladiators needed to rally around one another, it is now.

We have just experienced the biggest run around the fictional political world has ever seen. Never in my life have I been more stressed about a relationship that has absolutely nothing to do with me than I am about Olivia Pope and Fitzgerald Grant.

I am fed up. I know y’all are too. I’m gonna try and get through this as best as I can but I’ve had enough.

Courtesy: giphy.com
Courtesy: giphy.com

Now let’s get into the foolishness.

Continue reading Scandal Review: Paris is Burning

Exploring campus culture one bathroom at a time

by TRISTAN MADDEN

When I say I am going to talk about campus culture, one might reasonably assume I am going to discuss campus sports or showcase an interesting club or event. But culture is not always that palatable. Sometimes culture, especially campus culture, is raw and unnerving. Sometimes culture is hastily scribbled nonsense on a bathroom stall. And that is the brand of culture I want to talk about today–the kind of culture one can only experience while sitting on a dirty public toilet. You know, the best kind of culture.

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Tristan Madden/ Pulsefeedz

I found this scathing accusation against our school’s president in the men’s bathroom of the North Campus diner. For all you kids not hip on the lingo, “danku” refers to the highest quality of marijuana. One could easily write this off as libel or defamation, but this accusation has been corroborated by another party. Right below the accusation is written “Too right, mate.” That’s enough proof for me.

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Tristan Madden/ Pulsefeedz

If you venture into the family bathroom in Mckeldin library, you’ll stumble upon a baby-changing station with “place sacrifice here” written on it. In the ancient city state of Carthage, it was common practice to sacrifice one’s infant to appease the gods. It’s good to know traditional religious values are still being practiced in this increasingly godless and immoral age. Continue reading Exploring campus culture one bathroom at a time

Life with Lo: An Entertainment Series for UMD students

Though we love getting our lives with Tamar Braxton and the rest of the cast on The Real, or guessing Fashion Police‘s “fashole” of the week, people under the age of 25 have opinions too!

“Life with Lo” is a weekly Youtube vlog series coined by Pulsefeedz‘s very own Lauryn Froneberger. “Life with Lo” sets out to prove that although we are young, us students have a lot to say about love, health, beauty, careers and more.

In this week’s episode, Lo demonstrates how to make what she refers to as a “Meal on a College Student Budget.” This section of the series focuses on how to create inexpensive meals without breaking the bank. Hopefully your wallet will thank us and so will your taste buds. Enjoy!

Filmed by: India Hamilton, Edited by: Monique Robinson

Scandal Review: She Said “Yes”

by BREANA BACON

Y’all, look. I’m tired.

I prepared myself for my edges to be snatched as I settled down to watch yet another installment of the stress-inducing travesty that is Scandal. I was ready to be blown away by the world knowing about Fitz and Olivia. I was waiting for it in the first 30 seconds.

I’m sure y’all were ready as well. However, as I previously mentioned, Shonda loves to run up and snatch the very hair off of our scalps as if it belonged to her in the last two minutes. But what she did tonight was simply unforgivable. My letter to Shonda Rhimes about various topics: my stress level, my edges, and the state of America after Thursday nights is still in the works. Bare with me and read on, Gladiators, as I try to make it through this tonight.

Courtesy: pinterest.com
Courtesy: pinterest.com

 

Continue reading Scandal Review: She Said “Yes”

UMD’s Most Unique Clubs On Campus (Audio)

Pulsefeedz’s Tristan Madden reports from the First Look Fair and gives us a taste of some of the more unusual but unique clubs on campus which are underrepresented and might not get as much attention as they deserve.

Clubs mentioned in this audio piece include: The Good Vibe Tribe (which is meeting Friday at 4 p.m.), The Virtual Reality Club (the club held an Occulus VR demo session at TerpZone last year) and the Nerf Activity Society.

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The Virtual Reality Club sets up shop at this month’s First Look Fair. (Tristan Madden/Pulsefeedz)
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The Nerf Activity Society shows off their weaponry to students walking through this month’s First Look Fair (Tristan Madden/Pulsefeedz)

Scandal Season 5 Premiere Review

by BREANA BACON

My precious fellow Gladiators, I have returned and so have our fearless leaders, Olivia Pope and Shonda Rhimes.

As per usual, I am stressed and baffled and my edges, that I have spent exactly five months to the day growing back since the season four finale, have been swiftly snatched from me. Thank God almighty that it’s almost the time to pull out the beanies and hats so I can hide this atrocity. I will be billing Shonda for my hair salon costs, as should you all.

Anyway, let us debrief once again.

Continue reading Scandal Season 5 Premiere Review

Scandal Review: First Lady Sings The Blues

by BREANA BACON

Buenos tardes Gladiators and welcome to rehab!

Just let me say, I know, y’all. I know. Shonda has played with us, she has toyed with our emotions, she has violated our trust and restored it all in the timespan of a week. This woman is wretchedly good.

I had to rewrite my letter to Ms. Rhimes because it just wasn’t strong enough to exemplify my stress level between last week’s episode and this week’s. It just makes no sense that one single woman can control the emotional trigger of millions of people. She can pull it when she wants, she can put the Scandal gun on safety, or she can throw it over the bridge. People, the point is that it ain’t right that she can control our Friday morning emotional state. Shonda Rhimes needs to be sued for emotional distress. I can’t handle this.

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Anyway, on to the juicy stuff, yes?

Continue reading Scandal Review: First Lady Sings The Blues

Scandal Review: I’m Just A Bill

by BREANA BACON

Listen, y’all. I am hurt. I’m disgusted, mortified, traumatized, and confused. I know y’all are too.

I know if you all are like me, you are currently debating on calling the FCC to demand an answer for this threat to sanity being allowed to infiltrate our television airways every Thursday, and writing a strongly worded and emotionally loaded email to Shonda Rhimes asking how she could put us through the stress we encountered in this episode. Especially in the final two minutes.

Although I actually fell off my couch this week and I am still struggling to sort through my emotions, I still have to get you all through the foolishness of this episode.

Bear with me, good people, as the struggle ensues.

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Continue reading Scandal Review: I’m Just A Bill

Kiss Cams, Angel Wings and Magic Mike Twerking: 2015 MTV Movie Awards RECAP

by MARYAM OUTLAW

Funny girl comedian Amy Schumer hosted the 2015 MTV Movie Awards Sunday. Although this year’s awards show was pretty much an uneventful collection of presenter banter followed by yet ANOTHER win by Shailene Woodley, there were some major OMG moments along the way. The moment Vin Diesel briefly sang Wiz Khalifa’s “See You Again” to honor his late Fast and Furious co-star Paul Walker. giphyThe moment John Green, author of The Fault in Our Stars, got teary-eyed after Shailene Woodley dedicated her award for Best Female Performance to him. mtv-movie-awards-2015-john-green-cryingThe moment Jennifer Lopez challenged the cast of Magic Mike XXL to give us all a little show, and Channing Tatum accepted. Good looking out, Jenny. Continue reading Kiss Cams, Angel Wings and Magic Mike Twerking: 2015 MTV Movie Awards RECAP