Category Archives: Funny

The Viral Letter Which Every Guy Wants Every Girl To Read

Dear Immature Girls,

Hey! It’s the mature guy. So I just wanted to say I am sick of the BS you ladies are pulling off. You know, the stupid shit that you girls like to do. Since when do girls go out to a Bar or Club just to dance with their friends? Let me get this straight…. you go out, dress all nice, pre-game hard, and it’s all just to have a good night out with your girls? I’m sorry but this makes no sense to me.

Girls, I understand your pain. The typical attractive girl will get hit on by thousands of creepy guys in their lifetime. That’s what you get unfortunately for being drop dead gorgeous. HOWEVER, why judge every single guy that goes up to you in the wrong way? I speak for millions of guys around the world when I say that NOT every single guy that is out at the bar or club on Friday Night is trying to get you hammered by buying you drinks in hopes of securing you in bed with him at the end of the night. There are guys like me that actually give a shit about a girl, more than just having a typical “One-Night Stand” . It’s really getting frustrating when myself and my group of friends will go out and dress nice in hopes of trying to meet some “Chill” girls. Instead, we approach a group of girls, and you girls end up being stuck up bitches for NO REASON!!!!! WHY IS THIS?!

Typical conversations with girls at a bar or club legit are pathetic. Myself and my group of friends will approach a group of girls to be nice and ask them how their night is going. What do we get as a response? “Um……. I guess it’s going good…… oh sorry guys we’ll be right back.. we’re going to the bathroom…” 

THE BATHROOM EXCUSE LOL. You might as well instead just say, “Screw you… we’re not interested.. see ya never!!!!!!”

The thing that pisses me off the most about girls is that you go for these tools, and I mean TOOLS. Being nice NEVER wins, and any girl that says she dreams of having a “Nice Guy” is so full of it. Girls never learn that they fall for the typical “Badboy Asshole” , only to get their heart-broken. 

Another thing I can’t stand about girls is the mind-games you play. What’s the fun in that? Why can’t you just be honest and tell me to my face you think i’m hot and that you want to get to know me? Is it THAT hard to do ladies? You have no idea how many girls I waste my time on to get to know, only to find out they want “Jerkoff Jared” or “Rob The Juicehead” instead of me. 

Girls, why do you have to step in and break up a good thing when something good does happen to me on a Friday Night. Why when I actually have a miracle and am dancing with your gorgeous friend do you have to be THAT girl who drags her away from me, and then I never end up seeing your friend again? This is what I call “Cockblock City” . Thanks bitch….

In conclusion, I can type up novels about how much I can’t stand girls lately. If this shit continues, I might as well start liking men, maybe they will actually treat me better than women (TOTALLY KIDDING) . I just wish women could open up a little more and give guys a chance before you IMMEDIATELY just disregard us. Last time I checked, I don’t think i’m an ugly piece of shit, and i’m just trying to be nice! Maybe I need to change the game up a bit for you bitchy women and treat you women like dirt. Maybe then, and ONLY THEN will you actually want me since i’ll be that “Badboy Asshole” you dream of having…..

I really hope every girl reads this, especially those that are in college. It’s time to stop being so stuck up and actually give guys a chance without judging. You’re no better than us, and everyone deserves a fair chance before you put up the X sign. Last time I checked, this isn’t the show called “NEXT” on MTV ladies….

 

Sincerely,

THEKING

MY TAKE: I would say that I agree with most of this letter. The only contention I have is, if you’re looking for a girl to chill with at the club or at the bar then you’re looking in the wrong place. The best chance you have at finding a girl to chill with is in a normal setting like an extracurricular club, class, mutual friends or the library.

Females think all guys have the same intentions in the club or at the bar and that will probably never change because there’s no female out there who wants to get caught up in a trap and then mistakenly end up down the path of becoming a “thot” (defined in the Urban Dictionary as “that hoe over there”).

Go into a club or a bar without any intentions and usually good things end up happening and if not, then it’s not your time yet. Just wait your turn.

(h/t University Primetime)

How Family Guy Characters are Allegorical References for the Show Itself

An adjusted Simpson mold for the modern family: the idiot American father figure, undefined and evolving maternal role, lazy and fat son, disgusting antisocial daughter, genius baby, and a talking liberated dog. Otherwise known as Family Guy.

But what if the roles of each character actually broadcast a deeper meaning for the show itself?

Peter

What the show was always meant to be: stupid and random. He is the consistent essence of the Family Guy punchline.

Lois

An ever-changing role based on the episode’s environment and situation. She represents the evolving female demographic that TV can no longer define. The Simpsons had Marge, a family loving, stay at home, sweat heart Mom, but that character no longer reflects the modern day female. TV, and Family Guy, doesn’t quite have a stereotype for this modern segment, thus Lois vastly changes as a character each episode.

Chris

The lazy and fat son is an allegory for the millennial generation: given everything from past generations and considered special without even doing anything of merit.

Meg

A demonstration of the show’s clear masculine humor (i.e. Peter farting in her face as the family laughs at her)

Stewie

Started out as a genius but regressed into a symbol of cheap homosexual humor, symbolizing the show’s decline in satirical content. The early seasons (and role of Stewie) was original and creative, but the the shift of his character represent the decline in the quality of recent seasons.

Brian

The infamous death of this character is just an allegory for the death of the show. The writers knew that they had to kill off one of the major 6 characters. Why? To grab the media and our’s attention. Family Guy has gone under the radar and the ploy of killing of Brian has brought it back into the eyes of the public. Killing off the most intelligent character, though most likely subconsciously, symbolizes the death of the show and demonstrates the desperate need for viewers.