Y’all, listen. I may not have class on Fridays anymore, but I’m tired of waking up disheveled because of the stress Shonda has caused me on Thursday nights. Therefore, I am starting a petition and setting up headquarters for my #StopShondaStress2015 campaign. I need signatures and volunteers so now is not the time to let your stress overcome you, it is time to take action. It should be a crime to snatch so many edges without permission as Shonda has over the past several years.
Welcome to another edition of my De-stress Session! I’m sure you all, like me, have to replace your mugs this week because you’ve realized that the tea Shonda Rhimes spilled this episode was more than your minuscule cup and saucer could handle.
I was simply outdone by the amount of uncomfortable truths that the light was shed on this week, but I’ll be the first to say, we needed that truth to be brought forward. Some people in this world need it more than others but that’s just not any of my business.
Before I begin, I must admit that I was so close to having an incomplete review tonight but my very good and loyal friend, Sierra who is in Tampa, saved my life and assisted in the snatching of my edges tonight. Thank you, Lord, for good friends who would rather you be snatched by Shonda than live life wondering what it would be like if you had been.
Ladies and gentlemen, if there was ever a time we as Gladiators needed to rally around one another, it is now.
We have just experienced the biggest run around the fictional political world has ever seen. Never in my life have I been more stressed about a relationship that has absolutely nothing to do with me than I am about Olivia Pope and Fitzgerald Grant.
I am fed up. I know y’all are too. I’m gonna try and get through this as best as I can but I’ve had enough.
I prepared myself for my edges to be snatched as I settled down to watch yet another installment of the stress-inducing travesty that is Scandal. I was ready to be blown away by the world knowing about Fitz and Olivia. I was waiting for it in the first 30 seconds.
I’m sure y’all were ready as well. However, as I previously mentioned, Shonda loves to run up and snatch the very hair off of our scalps as if it belonged to her in the last two minutes. But what she did tonight was simply unforgivable. My letter to Shonda Rhimes about various topics: my stress level, my edges, and the state of America after Thursday nights is still in the works. Bare with me and read on, Gladiators, as I try to make it through this tonight.
My precious fellow Gladiators, I have returned and so have our fearless leaders, Olivia Pope and Shonda Rhimes.
As per usual, I am stressed and baffled and my edges, that I have spent exactly five months to the day growing back since the season four finale, have been swiftly snatched from me. Thank God almighty that it’s almost the time to pull out the beanies and hats so I can hide this atrocity. I will be billing Shonda for my hair salon costs, as should you all.
Just let me say, I know, y’all. I know. Shonda has played with us, she has toyed with our emotions, she has violated our trust and restored it all in the timespan of a week. This woman is wretchedly good.
I had to rewrite my letter to Ms. Rhimes because it just wasn’t strong enough to exemplify my stress level between last week’s episode and this week’s. It just makes no sense that one single woman can control the emotional trigger of millions of people. She can pull it when she wants, she can put the Scandal gun on safety, or she can throw it over the bridge. People, the point is that it ain’t right that she can control our Friday morning emotional state. Shonda Rhimes needs to be sued for emotional distress. I can’t handle this.
Listen, y’all. I am hurt. I’m disgusted, mortified, traumatized, and confused. I know y’all are too.
I know if you all are like me, you are currently debating on calling the FCC to demand an answer for this threat to sanity being allowed to infiltrate our television airways every Thursday, and writing a strongly worded and emotionally loaded email to Shonda Rhimes asking how she could put us through the stress we encountered in this episode. Especially in the final two minutes.
Although I actually fell off my couch this week and I am still struggling to sort through my emotions, I still have to get you all through the foolishness of this episode.
Bear with me, good people, as the struggle ensues.
I have returned from my brief hiatus, and I regret to inform you that it was caused by a terrible, non-Shonda induced illness and non-TGIT related responsibilities. I wish that I was away on Scandal business but some dreams don’t come true. Le sigh. Anywho, I’m cured and back better than ever with more hi-jinks and straight foolishness created by our beloved Shonda Rhimes.
I didn’t get a chance to tweet Shonda this week, but next week, it’s on. You have been fairly warned.